


Fearless Once More

by Finn



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Animal Attack, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2017-10-26 21:46:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/288254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finn/pseuds/Finn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is attacked by a shark while swimming.</p><p> </p><p>Not really an update, just a bit of editing because I was told the old format was difficult to read. Gave me the chance to rewrite this, something I've wanted to do for a while now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ratherastory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratherastory/gifts).



> 1\. This was written for the h50_exchange, my recipient was ratherastory.  
> 2\. Many thanks to seleneheart for beta, to riverotter1951 for beta and for letting me bug her and her daughter with medical questions and to sandpipers for giving me an insight into how someone feels when unable to do something due to an injury.  
> 3\. The research for this one was gruesome. Most articles I read came with very detailed pictures and while I can stomach a lot, some were way too detailed.  
> 4\. I like the animals mentioned. This is in no way intended to paint a wrong picture of them, but attacks happen. Also, Danny's view of sharks in this story is rather misinformed and heavily influenced by the attack itself.

It was still dark outside when Danny woke up. 

Or rather, was woken up in a very pleasurable way. 

Still, if there hadn't been teeth around some very precious part of his anatomy, the glinting and evil numbers 6:00 on the alarm clock right next to him would have been more than enough reason for him to hit his partner over the head.

As it was though, he held back the hissed"Bastard!" that wanted to escape and settled instead for moaning,- because his partner's mouth was just too good to miss. He'd hit him later. 

Biting down on a knuckle, his back arched when clever fingers tugged at his balls and simultaneously pressed down on the small patch of skin behind them. 

But it wasn't enough. 

He ached, he felt empty and he wanted more. 

Now.

"In me," he panted and spread his legs further apart to allow better access but all he got in reply was a dark chuckle that vibrated around his dick and nearly made him lose control. 

Then, the fingers moved further back and touched his hole, tapping against it but not entering yet.

He squeezed his eyes shuts and nearly sobbed.

"C'mon, in me. Don't…don't make me beg."

He felt cool air on his cock and he wasn't sure if should be thankful or cry in disappointment but did neither in the end, because only seconds later teeth sank into his right nipple and a slick hardness pressed against his hole. 

Pressure followed, and in one thrust that nearly made him scream, he was entered. 

It hurt, just a bit, but he was used to it by now and it felt so good he forgot to breathe for a second. But just for a second. Then the next thrust hit his prostate just right and he was gasping again, moving in rhythm with the body above him.

It was hard and it was rough and it was so fucking perfect that Danny could have cried.

He came with a gasp, felt his muscles squeeze around the hardness inside him and it was enough to push his partner over the edge, too. A muffled growl sounded against his chest and he felt a little sting when teeth closed, just for a second, harder than comfortable around his nipple.

His suddenly boneless partner pushed him into the mattress, preventing him from moving, and he relished it, the pressure, the weight and the feeling of having this warm, beloved body in his arms.

Lazily, he let the tremors travel through him, let his fingers glide over the smooth back above him and chuckled when it earned him something that sounded like a purr.

"Well, Andrew, that was fabulous as always."

It got him a snort along with a poke into his ribs.

"A lesser man's self-esteem would really take a beating with you around, Danno."

Grinning helplessly, Danny pressed a kiss into the dark hair and cooed, "Aw, Babe, you know you're the only one."

The "I know" was muffled against his neck and together, they enjoyed another few minutes of just laying there, doing nothing but basking in the afterglow and the closeness of each other.

But then, same as every morning, Steve eventually got restless, started to shift and in the end detangled himself to start hunting for his swimming trunks.

"You going to join me, Danno?"

For a second, Danny contemplated staying between the warm sheets to go back to sleep once more, but couple-time for them had been rare these last two weeks. And looking at tall, dark and handsome in front of him, in nothing more than black board shorts made it an easy decision.

"You better make me some coffee while I clean up, babe, or I'll fall asleep while you're swimming."

He swung his legs over the edge and stood, stretching till he felt his back give a satisfying crack before heading to the bathroom. Before he could enter though, strong arms caught him around his waist and pulled him into a deep kiss.

"You sure you want to clean up? I like the idea of you dripping and ready for me for another round."

Steve had that stupid lopsided smile on his face, along with a glint in his eyes that told Danny that while the words were spoken in jest, they held a spark of truth. Giving the man another small kiss, Danny wriggled out of his arms and moved further into the bathroom.

"Tell you what, babe. When I don't have to wait an hour for the second round, we can talk about you dripping out of me."

And then, with a last suggestive wriggle of his ass, he closed the door in Steve's face, chuckling all the while at how Steve's eyes had blown wide at the comment.

**************************

When he entered the kitchen, wearing his own trunks, coffee was waiting for him, along with a towel, an apple, his phone and his read of the week.

He pushed Steve aside with his hip and swallowed the black goodness down as fast as he could, ignoring the indignant yelp of the other man.

"Jesus, it's good to know what comes first for you."

Danny glanced at the pouting face Steve was sporting and took another sip.

"A man has to have his priorities straight, babe. But you are a very close second, never fear."

Steve slapped him on the ass and grabbed both his and Dannie's things, heading out towards the beach, "Seriously, Danno, I'm crushed. You can blow me later to make it up to me."

Trailing after his boss, Danny grinned.

"There could be worse things to do, babe."

Several feet away from the water's edge they came to a halt and Steve spread Danny's towel out, setting his next to it.

"You put sunscreen on?"

Stifling a sigh, Danny nodded.

He never forgot, but ever since Steve had figured out that the dress shirts and whole body cover up was mostly so he didn't end up as a lobster, the SEAL insisted on checking and buying a ridiculous and embarrassing children's sunscreen of at least SPF 50. 

Actually, most of the time he made Danny use Grace's.

But it was only a small thing, and if it made McGarrett happy to nag, Danny had no problem putting up with it. After all, he had his quirks too.

"'kay, here's your book, here's your apple and phone, and I'll be back in an hour."

Then he pulled Danny into another kiss, gave him a quick grin and headed out into the water while putting on his goggles.

It had become their own little morning ritual, which Danny hadn't been a big fan of in the beginning, but now he rarely missed out on it.

He liked starting his day like this; watching Steve swim, relaxing on his towel and reading a few pages. It was stress free and nice. 

Sometimes he went into the water with Steve for a quick dip, but he still wasn't a big fan of the ocean. Not knowing what was underneath him gave him the creeps, like securing a house and having to peek around the corners, never knowing what might be waiting for him or coming up behind him.

His eyes followed Steve's butterfly strokes until the man disappeared from sight before, with a quick look at his watch, he set the alarm on the phone and he settled belly-down on his towel and opened his book.

Roughly forty-five minutes before Steve would be back.

**************************

When his phone's alarm sounded, it gave him a small shock. The book had been a present from Kono, about sheep solving a murder and was actually quite amusing and captivating.

Putting it aside, he sat up to scan the ocean…and there was Steve. The man's internal clock was a thing of wonder.

He had switched to breaststroke and Danny couldn't help admire his smooth, rhythmic strokes that moved him quickly through the water.

Danny didn't really like to swim, was more a fan of boxing or the gym, but he could admire someone else doing it. That someone being Steve.

Standing up, he went to the water's edge, enjoying the way his toes sank into the wet sand, his eyes on his partner all the while.

By now, Steve was roughly 100 yards away from him.

Then Danny saw a triangle behind him.

And suddenly Steve was gone.

For a second Danny was frozen. He frantically scanned the water, looking for churning, a shadow, the fucking triangle, Steve. But there was nothing.

Later, when he thought about it, he knew that it couldn't have been more than a few seconds.

Still, it felt like an eternity until he saw and heard Steve pop up from the water with a scream, some 100 feet to the right from where he had been.

Danny was swimming before he knew he had entered the water. Fear made his stomach cramp, fear for himself, fear for Steve, fear of what was in the water. But he refused to retreat, locking his eyes on Steve, who was trying to swim with only one arm.

It seemed like hours until Danny reached Steve and all the while this goddamn fear surrounded him.

Steve's face was ashen and there was blood surrounding him in a murky cloud in the water, which made Danny unable to see anything.

His eyes were blown wide and he was babbling about Danny getting out of the water, getting away from the blood.

Danny refused to think about what the blood could be calling towards them.

Instead he ruthlessly pushed down the panic that was trying to consume him and manhandled Steve onto his back, wrapping his own arm underneath Steve's armpits.

"Babe, we'll be out of the water in no time. Just stay still, okay? Please, just stay still."

Tears threatened to fall and Danny would have angrily wiped them away if he had had a hand free.

Steve stopped talking, and let himself be moved like a ragdoll and that was just wrong, no matter how much easier it made things for Danny.

The minutes that followed were the worst of Danny's life. Somewhere in his head the Jaws theme was playing, urging him to put all he had into his strokes.

He was a decent swimmer; knew how to rescue a victim in the water and pulling Steve along with him was no real problem.

But there was the murky red water that followed them and Danny couldn't help but get it into his mouth from time to time, making him want to puke. 

Also, as much as he tried not to, he couldn't help scanning the water, scared to hell that any time a triangle or a shadow would show up again, grabbing Steve, grabbing him. 

Then, suddenly, Danny felt sand under his feet and he hadn't really known what relief felt like up until that very moment.

He pushed all thoughts of teeth away, dragging Steve onto the beach, as far away from the goddamn water as he could, and got his first good look at the injury.

There was blood everywhere, dripping into the sand, but the bite mark was clearly on his left forearm and elbow.

Steve was trembling and with a jolt, Danny jumped into action. This, he knew how to do.

Positioning the man with his head down the slope, he pressed out, "I'll be right back, babe," before sprinting up to where the towels lay. He grabbed both of them and his phone, and then ran back again.

Hitting the speed-dial for 911, he spread Steve's towel over the cold body for a bit of cover and tore into his own with his teeth, growling when he hit resistance. It took a second before the material gave and he was able to rip off a strip.

At that moment, he was put through to the 911 operator. Jamming the phone between his shoulder and jaw, he took the strip and set about putting a make shift tourniquet around Steve's upper arm, while at the same time biting out, "I need an ambulance at 2727 Pi'ikoi.

Male shark attack victim with blood loss. I just pulled him out of the water and am applying a tourniquet as we speak, but he's going into shock, body temperature going down and he has already lost a tremendous amount of blood as far as I can tell. We're on the private beach behind the house, have the EMT's come through, the door will be open."

Then he let the phone drop down in favor of focusing on tightening the tourniquet with a piece of driftwood that he found near them.

Steve seemed to be out of it, so Danny put what was left of his towel over the man as well, then ran up to the house, opening the front door for the EMT's, before grabbing the afghan of the couch, some clean dish towels and a pillow, and running back down do the beach.

Steve, meanwhile, had lost even more color, something Danny hadn't thought possible.

Pushing the pillow under his feet, he spread the afghan over the towels, tugging them tight around the body he longed to wrap himself around to protect and yet couldn't.

Instead, he wrapped the dishtowels around the wounds, putting pressure on them while elevating the arm and talking as calmly as he could to Steve about mundane things he seriously doubted the man heard. He hoped at least the tone of his voice would soothe Steve.

It certainly helped keeping himself calm, and that was something Danny seriously needed because he felt one second away from hyperventilating.

Bending forward to press kisses to Steve's chilly lips he murmured, "Stay with me, darling. Just stay with me."


	2. Chapter 2

The EMT's showed up and took over maybe ten minutes later.

Detached, Danny watched them stabilize the ABCs, and then put Steve on a stretcher and carry him away. He followed them, feeling as if in trance, getting into the ambulance with Steve under the condition that he kept out of the way.

During the drive to the hospital, the paramedics set up an IV Infusion with . . . something; the names meant nothing to Danny. All he noticed was that while their words were calm, they had a frantic edge.

Danny kept his gaze focused on Steve's closed eyes, his hand clenched around blood soaked dishtowels he had forgotten to drop. And all the while 'Don't leave me!' ran through his head.

**************************

Steve was whisked away the moment they entered Queen's Medical Center, leaving Danny to stare helplessly after him. 

And suddenly it hit him that he was standing barefoot in a hospital hallway, clad only in swimming trunks, with bloody dish towels in his hands and Steve's blood all over his body.

Someone was talking to him, asking for Steve's name, which he gave but it was all kind of distant. And next thing he knew, he was sitting with his head between his knees, a blanket over his shoulders and a firm and gentle hand on his back.

"Better now?"

It was one of the nurses, who was looking him over with a professional eye.

"Yeah, sorry. It's been a bit…"

"Don't worry. Just sit here and take deep breaths. Is there someone you can call?"

He looked at her helplessly.

"My phone's still at home."

Her reassuring smile didn't waver.

"That's no problem. I can call them from the nurses' station. Just give me a name and a number."

It only took a second to think of a name. He needed someone here who could think straight, someone who would help him take care of things. Someone who would remain calm and deal with things while he couldn't.

"Chin Ho Kelly," he rasped.

**************************

While making the call, another nurse had provided Danny with something to drink and an offer to clean up. He had taken the first and declined the second. There was no way he was moving from his spot before he knew how Steve was doing.

And then Chin was there, standing in the waiting room and glancing searchingly around. 

When he finally spotted him, he hurried over to where Danny was sitting, his eyes widening as he took note of the state the blond was in.

"Jesus, brah!"

He pulled Danny into a one armed hug, before pulling his phone out.

"Kono, I need you to grab some clothes for Danny before you come to the hospital. Clothes and shoes," he added with a glance to Danny's bare feet and then hung up.

"C'mon Danny, we'll get you cleaned up a bit."

Wide eyed, Danny shook his head.

"I haven't heard about Steve yet. I'm not leaving here until I know something. What if… what if there is news and I'm not here?"

He refused to think about what kind of news it might be, focusing instead on trying to pretend he could see beyond the doors through which Steve had been taken.

Out of the corner of his eyes he noticed Chin moving over to one of the nurses, but he couldn't hear what they were saying. It wasn't important. Chin would take care of the details; Danny could focus on the goddamn door.

But then Chin was back and tugged at his arm until Danny was on his feet.

"Come on, up you go. The nurse said it will be a bit till we will get some information but she will keep an eye on it. If there is anything happening while we're gone she will come find us."

And then the traitor proceeded to drag him towards the men's room.

**************************

Inside, Danny got his first good look at himself, and a gruesome picture he made.

The blood that had been on his hands had moved to his hair with all that nervous fussing. He couldn't help the sick feeling in his stomach that made him move to the stalls and toss up his breakfast.

This was Steve's blood. And it was worse than any wound before, because this time his lover had been mauled by something. Something that could very well have killed him with one bite. 

Could have pulled him down and never let him up again.

God, he hated to think of this entire fucked up situation as being lucky, but there it was. They had been lucky. Both of them.

Again, he threw up, with an acid taste in his mouth and sobs threatening to escape but he ruthlessly pushed them down and instead accepted Chin's hand to help him up. Then he went to the sink, rinsed his mouth and put his head under the water as well as he could, keeping his eyes closed. He couldn't stand to see any more red water today.

The sink was not really made for washing hair and not being able to see wasn't really helping.

But then there was Kono's voice, and hysterical laughter threatened to bubble up at her being in the men's room. God, what a place for a group gathering. He raised his head, water dripping from his wet hair, his eyes squeezed shut and murmured, "Hey, Kono."

All she said in reply was, "Oh, Danny."

Then there were gentle hands pushing his head back under the water, helping him wash it and he was so fucking grateful that he forgot to be embarrassed by it.

When he was done, he next felt his hands being taken and pushed under the water to be cleaned.

Then, something that felt like a wet paper towel moved over his chest.

"I'm sorry. Just…I can't see any more red water today. I just can't."

Chin's voice was near when he murmured, "You don't have to." and with a start Danny realized that the one cleaning his chest must have been Chin.

"All done, brah."

It was Kono's voice again, and opening his eyes he gave her a small, trembling smile.

A look into the mirror confirmed that all the blood was gone, leaving his hair a wet, curly mess, but Danny didn't give a shit.

Then Kono handed him jeans, a shirt and sneakers, and Danny proceeded to slip into the armor made of clothes.

He needed every layer of protection he could get.

While he had gotten dressed, Kono had slipped out, but when he and Chin exited, she was there again, slightly shaking her head to answer the unasked question.

Still no news.

They took a seat in the waiting area again, Danny next to Kono, who wrapped an arm around him while anxiously biting her lip. Chin was with the nurses again, giving what information he could and Danny had never been more grateful for the man's dependability.

Then Chin sat down on his other side, giving him a quick pat to the shoulder and murmuring, "I have contacted HPD and the Coast Guard. Someone's on the way already; they will want to talk to you about the attack. "

Danny nodded, but didn't look at him, because in that moment, the door opened and a weary looking doctor came through.

Jumping up from his seat, he rushed over to the man, nearly ambushing him.

"How is he?"

The man raised his eyebrows, before asking, "You with Commander McGarrett?"

Giving an impatient nod, the blond detective barely refrained from shaking the man.

"My name's Dr. Kekoa. The patient's condition is stable and he's being transferred to ICU as we speak. He lost a lot of blood, and we had to operate to repair tendons that had been cut and set the broken ulna and radius, but all of that went well. While it will take some time, with proper physical therapy Commander McGarrett should regain full use of his fingers. 

However, there was some tissue loss which will leave some scarification behind."

He gave a tired sigh, and rubbed his eyes.

"Things were touch and go for a while. He went into hypovolemic shock because of the blood loss. But all in all, he was very lucky. Let's hope it stays that way."

Tensing, Danny clenched his fists.

"What do you mean?"

The man shrugged.

"It was an attack by an animal. There was debris in the wound, along with a tooth – which we bagged along with the pictures we took to document the wounds – and while we cleaned it of course, there is the danger of infection to consider. We put him on anti-infectives just in case and are keeping an eye on it. Fingers crossed, he will be out of ICU tomorrow, and home soon after."

It was Chin who asked when they could visit him. Danny was still stuck on the 'touch and go'.

"Give it thirty minutes to get his transfer finished, then each of you can have five minutes."

It wasn't much, but in that moment, Danny would have been fine with staring through a glass wall at Steve, if only to reassure himself that the man was indeed still breathing. But who was he kidding? Danny wanted to touch, to smell, to kiss. He wanted to feel Steve's warmth and his breath and hear him say that everything would be all right.

Shaking of these thoughts, he noticed that the doctor's attention had drifted to something behind them, and when Danny turned, he noticed Officer Kalili along with an unfamiliar woman coming their way.

The doctor nodded to the pair and said, "I'll have the pictures and the tooth brought to you right away. If you'll excuse me?"

He gave the team a questioning glance, but no one asked any more questions, and he left when he received a nod from Kalili.

Officer Ahe Kalili had finished class alongside Kono, and she was often at scenes where H-50 was called, so they all were familiar with each other.

She gave Kono a quick smile and Chin and Danny a nod.

"Hey guys. Sorry we got to meet like this. I hope McGarrett gets better soon."

She motioned to the woman beside her.

"This is Professor Morgan Collins. She's a marine biologist, and will work alongside the Coast Guard and HPD to hopefully find the animal responsible."

The woman shook hands with each of the team members, while Kalili continued, "I'm here to take statements while the Professor will try to figure out what kind of shark is responsible for the attack. We'll hand everything over to the Coast Guard and they will take care of the rest."

Anger bubbled up inside Danny, along with a small flare of panic at the thought of that 'animal'.

"How the hell will you do that? There got to be loads of these goddamn fish in the fucking water."

Professor Collins answered, with a calm and even voice. "We will keep loosely around the area where the attack happened. The photos will help narrow it down because we will be able to get a rough estimate of the size from the…wound. And if they have a tooth, as the doctor said, we can tell without a doubt if we catch the right animal and it will be put down."

"It better be, or I'll fucking go fishing myself. Damn animals should all be put down," muttered Danny.

Professor Collins pressed her lips together, clearly not agreeing, but was smart or sensitive enough not to argue either. Then her attention focused on a nurse who approached her, carrying a small bag.

Kalili asked, "Detective? Are you okay with answering some questions?"

A quick look to the clock on the wall in the waiting room confirmed that there still was time before they could see Steve and so, Danny nodded.

"Would you mind telling me what happened?"

His thoughts flittered over the morning, a quick stab of pain in his chest making his breath catch. He had come so close to never having such a morning again. No more waking up with Steve, no more morning hours to enjoy with him. The next sting was in his eyes.

He blinked, cleared his throat and managed, "I was at Steve's, reading on the beach while he went for a swim, as always. It was… around seven, I guess. The sun was up; water was clear, same as the sky. And he wasn't wearing anything shiny. Steve… he always checks for these things, you know? He's careful, he really is."

Kono draped her arm around Danny's shoulders again, and Kalili patted his arm reassuringly.

"I'm sure he is. As a SEAL, Commander McGarrett would be well versed in these things, I imagine. What happened next?"

He narrated the attack, ignoring the shocked breaths when he told how he went into the water to get Steve out, ending with the ride in the ambulance.

"I know it's hard but can you remember anything about the dorsal fin? Size, color? Something?"

The question came from Professor Collins, whose attention had come back to Danny when he had started talking about the attack. He shook his head.

She nodded, and gave a small smile.

"From what you told us, it sounds like a hit and run attack. The shark mistakes the victim for his prey, but swims off after taking a bite because he notices his mistake. With the evidence the hospital gave us we'll have no problem identifying the correct shark, I think. Officer?"

Kalili gave her a nod, and then shook hands with the team.

"The Coast Guard is already gearing up; it will be handled. I will keep you updated, if you want?"

Danny managed to repress his snort. As if they wouldn't. Instead he gave a last nod and then headed to the elevators. It should be okay to visit Steve now. To see him. To touch him. To fucking lock him up in a padded room and keep him from all harm forever.


	3. Chapter 3

He let Kono and Chin go in first. It made him anxious and he almost bit his nails, even after Chin had come out and had told him that it didn't look too bad. 

But he wanted to be the last one in, to maybe snatch some extra minutes before someone noticed, without feeling guilty about preventing their friends from seeing Steve.

Then, finally, it was his turn. He nearly didn't enter because his feet refused to move but Chin gave him a small smile and a bigger shove.

"It's okay, brah."

And in he went.

Steve didn't look small in the bed; he was too big for that. But he looked pasty, competing with the white sheets. His left arm was covered up by a heavy cast and the various tubes coming from him did nothing to really reassure Danny.

Feeling three times his age, the blond man sat down heavily in the chair next to the bed and slid his fingers between those of Steve's right hand.

Then he leaned forward, pressed his face into Steve's neck and took a breath.

It was…wrong. It smelled wrong; it smelled like antiseptic and hospital. Taking a shuddering breath, he inhaled deeply, and there, finally . . . just a trace of Steve. It wasn't the shower gel he used, or his aftershave. It wasn't the smell of ocean and salt and sweat, but the man himself. The smell, that was always there, underneath everything else. Finally he was reassured that Steve was really there.

Sitting up, he smoothed over the darks strands with his other hand, tracing eyebrows, gently touching thin eyelids that fluttered. He stood a bit to brush a kiss onto Steve's lips and murmured, "I hope your dreams are of flowers, candies and puppies." 

It had been what he had told Gracie when he went in to catch a last look at her before he went to bed himself.

"I hope you dream of us."

Then he rested his head on Steve's chest, letting the steady heart beat lull him until a nurse came in to throw him out.

Kono and Chin where still outside, waiting for him. Turning to Kono, he asked, "Can you drive me home so I can grab my car? The nurse said I could have another ten minutes in about two hours."

The cousins exchanged looks that Danny couldn't read and Kono hesitated to answer.

Finally, a bit impatient, he demanded, "Well? Or I can call a cab, it's no problem."

Hurriedly, Kono shook her head.

"No Danny, no, it's no problem. Just… there is some…blood. I didn't have time to clean it up when I grabbed your clothes, but I don't think you should see it. How about Chin and I go and grab your car? Bring you some more stuff? We can clean up. while we're at it."

For a second, Danny was in the house again, seeing himself opening the door for the EMT's with bloody hands, leaving handprints and blood drops on the frame and floor. 

It hadn't registered then, but he could well imagine what it would look like. Too well. He was going to throw up again in a second.

Giving the two a choked nod and a "Thank you." he hurried in the direction of the men's room, ignoring them calling his name. He would be fine. He just needed to make this sick feeling go away.

**************************

Kono and Chin weren't back yet when Danny was allowed back into Steve's room. He refused to think about why that was and instead focused on the fact that the nurse had told him that Steve was awake, if still a bit out of it.

Gingerly opening the door to the hospital room, he peeked in first before fully entering.

Steve looked as if he had fallen asleep again but when Danny sat down next to him and took his lover's big hand, his eyes opened to slits and stared at Danny.

His pupils took up most of the space, leaving only a thin ring of hazel and the gaze was slightly unfocused and pressing a small kiss to Steve's mouth, he gently smiled at the man.

 

"Oh, babe. You're high as a kite, aren't you?"

"Danno?" 

Steve's voice was raspy and on instinct Danny looked around for some water and found the cup the nurse seemed to have left.

"Here Steve, take a sip. How're you feeling? You hurting?"

A small sip, then, "Na, feel really, really good at the moment."

The words were accompanied by a dopey smile and Danny couldn't help but return it.

"That's good. That's really good."

They spent the rest of what time they had quietly, with Steve's eyes opening and closing, making it clear that the man was still not really there. A nurse poked her head in and Danny gave a nod.

"Do you need anything before I leave?"

Steve's eyes were already closed, but he murmured, "Cold." and Danny suddenly noticed the shivers starting to wreck the body in front of him. 

"I'll tell the nurse."

Danny bent down to press a kiss to Steve's forehead, and then he left the room to find a nurse and ask if she could bring in another blanket.

Then he settled back into the waiting area, determined to be there for his next ten minutes.


	4. Chapter 4

Kono had come by soon after, dropping off his car keys along with his book to keep him occupied during the waiting periods.

She had wanted to stay with him, but someone had to keep headquarters running and that took more than one man. He had standing orders to provide updates though, as did she if they heard something from the Coast Guard or HPD.

And now he sat here, staring at his book but unable to open it, instead having the morning on repeat inside his head.

It was due to his wandering mind that he didn't notice when someone sat down in the chair beside him.

"Detective Williams?"

The yelp that escaped Danny was manly. It was. Even if his jump was highly undignified.

A low chuckle sounded to his left and with a frown, he turned his head to check out the man who had settled down next to him.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

The guy had to be in his late twenties or early thirties, freckled skin, and red hair. Clearly another haole. Danny felt instant kinship.

"I'm Noah Coleman. I'm the hospital psychiatrist."

Clueless, Danny stared at him.

"That's great, Mr. Coleman. What does that have to do with me?"

"Noah, please."

He gave Danny a once over before continuing, "I would have liked to talk to you sooner, but I had another appointment. I was not happy to hear that no one had been taking care of you."

That…sounded wrong in so many ways, that Danny couldn't help but snort.

Leaning back in his not very comfortable chair, he stretched his legs and gave the man a sly glance which made the poor guy blush.

Muttering, he copied Danny's pose.

"Okay, that was badly phrased. But the heart of the matter is that you were in a traumatic situation as well and it isn't a good thing to leave such a person alone. At least, a nurse should have kept an eye of you."

The waiting room was done in eggshell color, with lush green plants and pretty colorful pictures that were perfect to help Danny keep his gaze from the guy next to him.

"It was fine," he answered after a minute. "I know hospitals are always busy. And I had friends who were helping."

"I'm glad to hear that. It also brings me to another point. You are good friends with Commander McGarrett?"

Tearing his gaze from the tag that declared the paintings being done by cancer patients, Danny sat up and focused his attention on Coleman.

"You could say that, yeah. Why?"

"I was with him a short while ago. He's fully alert, as you'll be happy to hear."

And Danny was. He couldn't wait to get back into the room again.

"But that's not what you're here to tell me."

Coleman shook his head and brushed his hair back with a hand.

"I talked to the Commander to inform him that I would be available if he wanted to talk about what happened. He refused, saying he would be back in the water soon enough, and that he didn't need to talk."

That…sounded like Steve.

The thought of Steve being back in the water made Danny want to puke again. Which was a no-no; there was nothing left in his stomach but bile.

Hunching up his shoulders, rubbing his arms to ward of the chill that made goose bumps rise, he cursed softly.

"I assume you're not happy. I can understand that. But Detective, what I want to talk about is that I believe that the Commander might be unable to enter the water. I'm not sure that you will be able to, either."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

The blond detective stood, and gave an anxious glance to the nurses' station. Maybe he could enter earlier? But a strong hand wrapped around his wrist and made him look down at the seated man.

"The commander was attacked by a shark, Detective Williams. You were there to witness it. If he knows it or not, if he can push fear aside or not, it is reasonable to assume that when he tries to enter the ocean, his body will lock down. I'm pretty sure the sight of the ocean alone will be enough to provoke a reaction. The same goes for you."

Glaring defiantly at him, Danny made it a point to free his wrist slowly and seemingly effortlessly.

"So what is your point?"

"My point is that I want you to be prepared for that. I assume a SEAL will not take kindly to being afraid of the ocean. And I want you to take my card and call when that problem arises."

"Fine, whatever."

Danny took the business card, put it in his pocket and promptly forgot about it when the head nurse caught his gaze when leaving Steve's room and gave him a nod.

He didn't bother to say goodbye to Coleman.

***************************

Steve was indeed alert, and he looked a mix of pained, scared and angry.

"Hey, babe."

"Don't 'Hey babe' me, Daniel."

It was not a shout, but it was definitely louder than normal. And it definitely sounded angry.

Confused, Danny sat down next to the bed, giving him questioning look.

"You fucking went into the water, bloody water, to get me out after a shark attack. Are you crazy?! You could have…"

Defensiveness made Danny raise his voice, too.

"Could have what? Been bitten? Well fuck it, Steven, what was I supposed to do? Leave you in the fucking water to get eaten? You were bleeding like a stuck pig and unable to move your left arm. Excuse me for wanting my partner out of the water before that fish came back to finish what it had started. "

He had gotten louder by the word, his arms turning into windmills, and he was nearly spitting.

How dare that goddamn idiot…

"Hey, Danno, it's okay. Calm down."

Steve's eyes were wide and worried now, big in his pale face and Danny finally noticed his own short breaths.

Swiftly bending down, putting his head between his knees and gripping his hair to give him something else to focus on, he was glad for the opportunity to hide his face while trying to calm his breathing.

"I know it wasn't the brightest idea, okay? But I would do it again. There was nothing else I really could have done, Steve. We don't exactly have a boat I could have used, do we?

And there was no way I could have watched you struggle back on your own, not to mention that you probably wouldn't have made it."

And that was something he really didn't want to think about.

He couldn't see, but he heard Steve sigh and only seconds later, he felt tentative fingers on his, urging his own to ease up on their punishing grip on his hair.

"Anyway, Doc said I could go home in few days if no infection sets in and then can come back for physical therapy and checkups."

Lifting his head, Danny gave him a smile.

"That's great, that's really great."

And it really was, even if he would have liked for Steve to stay longer in the hospital, where experts were on hand if needed. Then again, stupid as it sounded, it was only an arm injury. 

The hospital would want to get the bed back as soon as possible and Danny couldn't really wait to have the stupid oaf back home again where he could stealthily mother hen him.

For now though, it seemed it was time to leave. Steve looked ready to drop; the few minutes of talk must have been exhausting for him.

"Do you want me to stay? They may not let me stay in here, but I can…"

"Danno. Go home and get some sleep. You look awful."

Exhausted voice, tired eyes, beautiful smile. Hell, the whole man was beautiful and Danny really should go home or he'd do something stupid like cuddle up to him on the too-small hospital bed.

"I'll be back in the morning. Don't terrorize the nurses."

"Will do."

That easy agreement alone was enough to tell Danny that Steve would be asleep in a few minutes. He quietly let himself out of the room, only to head back in, steal a quick kiss from the sleepily grinning lunatic and then leaving for real.


	5. Chapter 5

His car was where Kono had said it would be, and the drive home was quick, which was nice because it didn't allow him time to think. Thinking was bad. Really bad.

He let himself in and immediately smelled the chemicals that had been used for cleaning. But that was way better than the smell and sight of blood. 

He cast a quick look to the clock. Jesus it was only five, why did he feel as if he had gone without sleep for hours? 

But there was a promise to keep, and quickly dialing Chin's number, he gave the man an update on Steve and informed him that the man probably wouldn't be up for any more visitors that day.

In return, Chin, told him that while the Coast Guard knew now to target a tiger shark, they hadn't found one that matched the size that the bite wounds indicated and were still out looking.

"You might actually see them; they should be around the area of Steve's private beach."

And Danny, idiot that he was, naturally went out after the call to have a look.

And found out what exactly Dr. Coleman had been talking about.

Sure, he could see a ships way out there. But all of his focus was on the water. And suddenly, his feet felt rooted to the ground. He could feel the water on his skin, could feel Steve's body against his chest and taste the bloody water again. And he felt terror.

He called himself silly, and in defiance of the sweat that suddenly seemed to come from nowhere along with short breaths, he ordered his feet to move and take him down to the beach.

Each step felt harder then first but he eventually made it down to the water's edge, only to find out that he wasn't able to enter the water. 

No matter how hard he tried, his feet refused to move. He started to see black spots and suddenly, he was sitting in the sand, panting and wet with sweat.

Tiredly, he rubbed his eyes, stood up and made his way back to the house on shaky feet.

"Well, fuck. Just what I needed."

**************************

But it wasn't the end of this fucked up day. 

During the night he had one nightmare after the other, waking up shaking and crying, vague images of Steve disappearing in the water for good, blood red water and dark shapes moving around him in the water, bumping into him.

Around four, he simply gave up and got out of bed, opting for a scalding shower and two pots of coffee. He passed on food, still feeling queasy and thanks to the amount of caffeine jittery like a bug. 

He dressed to the nines, more so than normally, hiding behind his clothes and using the perfectly tied tie as a shield of sorts. He actually had to resist and close the wardrobe before he went all out and put on a full suit. 

Around six, he gave in and made his way to the hospital. 

The dream images were still with him and he needed to see Steve. He would beg the goddamn nurses if he had to.

**************************

In the end, begging really was what it took. 

Steve had been moved from ICU and it took a bit to find the right station. At first, the nurse was adamant that he comply with visiting hours, but in the end, she gave in when he promised to just sneak a look. She went with him, and together they looked in on the man, who was apparently sleeping peacefully.

"He's all right?" he asked softly.

She nodded.

"No infection and he has recovered quite nicely from the blood loss. He's going to be tired still, and the Doctor will be able to tell you more after the ward round today. But yes, all things considered, he's all right."

The blond detective gave a small, grateful sigh, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. All of sudden he felt every minute of his lost sleep.

The nurse gave him a glance and huffed.

"I'm going to go back to the desk. Should someone sneak in during that time, I won't be able to see."

She turned without giving him another glance and he stared after her for a second, but he wasn't someone to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

Instead, he quietly made his way into the room, turned his mobile to silent and then crouched down in the by now familiar visitor's chair, putting his head down on the mattress where Steve's hand lay, fitting his own carefully around the man's wrist, until he was able to feel the steady pulse.

It wasn't a comfortable position, but at the same time it was perfect. Feeling Steve's heartbeat was worth every cramp he was going to get.

**************************

The feeling of someone softly stroking his hair woke him in the end. Sleepily, he made a sound that resembled a purr and moved his head to give the fingers better access.

"Neck," he mumbled.

He heard a soft laugh, but the fingers did what he wanted and moved to stroke the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

But then he heard the sound of a shutter, and he sat up, only to be presented with the grinning faces of Kono – who was holding up her cell – Chin, and Steve.

He felt his face growing red, embarrassment settling in, but Steve was having none of that.   
Steve, as he had found out, had a thing for PDA. And blushing was better than getting Steve's tattooed on his ass or his forehead, he supposed.

He was just glad that Chin and Kono had nothing against them bringing their relationship to work, since Steve and he had found that it was impossible for them to separate one from the other. 

Strong fingers wrapped around his wrist and gave a tug, pulling him into a nice, deep kiss.

"Morning, Danno," the SEAL murmured against his lips.

Embarrassment forgotten, Danny stole another kiss, returning the greeting softly, before sitting up. He ignored the snickering peanut gallery on the other side of Steve's bed and instead focused on his partner.

Steve looked really good. His skin had returned to his normal color, no longer looking pasty white and the IV's that he had been hooked up to had been removed. 

"How you doing, babe?" Danny asked, voice still rough with sleep.

It got him a tender smile and fingers stroking his cheek.

"Good, I'm feeling really good. Doc was in while you slept and had a look. I'm still getting anti-infectives. But at least the catheter is out. And I can go home tomorrow if someone keeps an eye on me."

A dopey grin slid over Danny's face.

"Someone, huh. I think I can do that."

From his left, Chin gave a small cough.

"On that note, before it gets any soppier; we got word from the Coast Guard."

Danny could feel his face freeze for a second, mirroring Steve's expression. Both men turned, giving Chin their whole attention.

"They caught the shark earlier this morning. Professor Collins was able to correctly identify the animal due to the tooth. It was put down."

Steve said something, but all Danny was able to do was nod. Because yeah, that fucking animal was gone. But there were thousands more. And next time…

"…Danny?"

Pulling himself away from those thoughts, he gave Steve his attention.

"Yeah, babe?"

"You okay?"

He pulled the smile from somewhere, but it didn't feel real, and Steve's frown told him that the man knew it.

"I'm great, babe. Don't worry. Now, how long did I sleep?"

Steve's gaze sharpened and Danny knew he had made a tactical error somehow.

"It's two. Doc was here around twelve, which was when I woke up. Just when did you come here, Danno?"

"Little bit earlier," he answered evasively before quickly focusing on Chin and Kono.

"So guys, that's good news. What about HQ? Did anything worth mentioning happen?"

Chin sent Steve a quick look and Kono, clearly wanting to help him out, started, "Nothing, which is…"

"Daniel."

Okay, that tone was just mean.

"What, Steven?" he answered defensively.

"Right, and that's our cue, cuz. Back to work."

Chin got up from his chair as if bee-stung, dragging Kono along, who was waving goodbye but also throwing them worried glances over her shoulder.

Folding his arms, Danny gave Steve a glare, only to get one in return.

"Don't look at me like that, Danno. When did you get here?"

Looking away, Danny murmured, "Sometime around six. Nurse let me in."

"Danno…"

"I couldn't sleep, okay? So instead of twirling my thumbs I came here. As far as I know, that is not a fucking crime."

"What do you mean, you couldn't sleep. Are you okay?"

The other man couldn't help but give a humorless laugh.

"Why, yes, I'm dandy. My partner nearly got eaten by a goddamn fish, and wants to enter the goddamn ocean as soon as possible again, as I was told yesterday by a shrink. Why should I lose sleep over that?"

And okay, he hadn't planned to say that. Clearly Coleman's words had upset him more than he had realized.

"Danno…"

"Don't 'Danno' me!" he shouted, only to soften his voice immediately. No need to get thrown out after the nurse this morning had been so accommodating.

"What kind of lunatic are you to want to go back into the ocean where you were nearly eaten? Eaten!"

Steve reached for his hand, giving him a helpless look.

"Danny, it's like getting back up on the horse after you fell off. I love the ocean. I'm a SEAL. There's no way I couldn't go back in."

"And you think it's gonna be that easy?"

His answer was a brilliant smile that dripped with confidence.

"I know it will be."

For a second he thought about telling Steve about his panic attack at the beach yesterday, but he decided against it. Steve had enough to deal with already, he would neither worry him needlessly nor steal his confidence. Maybe he really would be alright

It was a pity though, that Danny wasn't so sure about things. And he was afraid of what it would do to the man to be wrong.


	6. Chapter 6

Danny hated being right. 

True, not normally, but just this once, he wished with everything he was that he had been wrong.

It had taken two more days before Steve had been able to come home. Danny had picked him up this morning, with Chin and Kono promising to come by in the evening for some team bonding.

At first, it had been going alright. Danny had aired the house in advance so it smelled like always, no trace of chemicals left when they had come home. 

He had settled Steve on the couch, had gotten him something to drink, something to eat, offered a massage, a foot rub… okay, so he had fussed. 

But Steve had let him. And it had been okay. Till that stupid oaf had insisted on going outside.

Danny hadn’t been a happy camper at that suggestion. After his first panic attack, he had avoided going outside, opting to stay inside instead and so the prospect of heading out with Steve, who would see at once that something was wrong, hadn’t been very tempting.

But the man had insisted, and no way would Danny let him go outside on his own. So he had clenched his fists to still the trembling, took a deep breath and followed Steve.

"I just want to wet my legs, Danno. The cast won't get wet, I promise. But it's hot and I’m sick of being inside."

And it had been fine at first. 

The sight of the sand and the water didn't seem to face Steve, which in return had helped to keep Danny calm.

But then they had gone to the water's edge, and again he hadn't been able to move. That was nothing though to Steve's reaction. 

The SEAL had been a step ahead of him, walking quickly with big steps, and with one step he had moved from wet sand to calf deep water. 

And had frozen up.

For a few seconds, Danny hadn't realized what was happening, as he had been focused on keeping his own breathing calm. But then he had seen how Steve had started swaying and panting, and all his focus had shifted to his partner.

When it had looked as if Steve would topple over, Danny had shoved all his own fears aside and had entered the water, grabbing Steve's arms and pulling the man back to the dry sand.

All the while, his own heart had been pounding like crazy, but it was nothing compared to Steve's.

They had fallen down backwards and Danny had used all his strength to pull Steve back against in chest, wrapping himself around the man and whispering stupid nothings to him, using his calmest voice although he felt like freaking out.

He pressed his mouth to Steve's neck, feeling his pulse against his lips, fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird.

Steve had rubbed his chest while hyperventilating, and suddenly he had leant to the side and retched, leaving Danny with nothing Danny to do, but keep talking and moving his hands in circles over the broad back.

Several minutes had passed that way, before Steve had calmed down enough to at least make it back into the house.

Which brought them to the present, where Danny was lying on the couch with Steve curled around him and his head under Danny's chin, breathing evenly but still trembling a bit.

After some time, his grip around Danny eased slightly and he whispered, "Fuck, Danno. I'm a SEAL. I can’t be afraid of the fucking ocean. I just can’t."

And what the hell do you say to that? 

Danny settled on pressing more kisses into soft hair, more petting and continuously murmuring, "It's going to be alright, babe. It's going to be alright."


	7. Chapter 7

It took nearly two months for the cast to come off, but Steve was already back to work a week after his stay at the hospital. 

In a way, it had been fortunate that it had been his left arm that had been attacked because Danny hated to think what being unable to use his right one would have added to the whole disaster they were in.

In the last two months Steve had stubbornly tried several more times to enter the water, always with the same result. It hadn't gotten better.

What had worsened though was his mood.

Alternating between halfway pleasant during working hours, he switched between grumpy and bitchy at home.

He snapped at Danny, apologized, grew pensive and downright depressed, which led to more snapping at Danny, which in turn had them in a vicious circle that left them both exhausted.

It was after another fight, which had led to Steve storming out of the house and Danny ready to give up, that Danny pulled out the card that had burned a hole into his pocket for the last two months.

He had talked about it once with Steve, resulting in another epic fight, after which he had let it drop, but things had to change. Danny didn't have much fight left in him, and Steve was doing worse than ever. 

Both of them were clearly unhappy and losing sleep and it was starting to affect their work which was not only unprofessional but also downright dangerous, not only for them, but also for the people they worked with.

So Danny took out his mobile and called Doctor Coleman.

**************************

When Steve came home two hours later, he looked apologetic and immediately went to Danny to press kisses to his face, all the while repeating, "I'm sorry, Danno."

And normally, as he had done all the times before, Danny would have given in. But not this time. Things had to change, or this would break them. And Danny was not willing to let that happen.

"Babe, we need to talk."

Steve froze, pulling back and searching his face, before sitting down heavily next to Danny.

"What about?"

The blond took a sip from his beer and handed Steve the one he had kept on the table waiting for him. By now it probably was lukewarm, but... well. Better than nothing and all that.

"I called Doctor Coleman. You have an appointment, tomorrow at nine."

Jumping up, Steve started shouting "What?! I told you…"

"Steve, please. Please!"

Standing up as well, Danny put down his bottle and made a grab for Steve's hand.

"This… this fear is fucking breaking you. It's breaking us. And we tried for two months now and it's not getting better. So please, just try talking to him, okay? Just…try it. If not for yourself, then for me. But…I can't keep doing this anymore."

And fuck if his voice wasn't trembling.

But he didn't know what else to do anymore. Being supportive alone wasn't helping Steve, and this was the last thing Danny could think of. Because while he could live with being afraid of the ocean and the goddamn animals that lived in it, it killed him to see Steve so afraid. 

Steve wasn't supposed to fear anything.

And fuck, now he was in Steve's arms, trembling like a freaking regency heroine, and how did this happen to his quiet, perfect life in just two months?

But all these thoughts were pushed aside when he heard Steve whisper in his ear, "Okay, okay, shhh. I'll meet with him, okay? I'm going to make it alright, Danno, I promise."

**************************

The next month wasn't much easier though.

While Steve continued to meet with Coleman – Noah, as Steve took to calling him – it wasn't helping as fast as Steve clearly wished or expected it would. 

Danny himself still had nightmares, which were not helped by seeing the half-circle scar on Steve's arm every day, but stubbornly ignored the little voice in his head that kept telling him, that Steve might not be the only one who needed to talk to Dr. Coleman. Steve came first though. Once his partner had at least started to heal, he would think about himself.

In the meantime, Steve slept like the dead when he hit the mattress, exhausted by the mental strain he put on himself, along with the physical exhaustion that came with the start of the physical therapy. Danny was just thankful that he at least didn't seem to have nightmares.

They knew for sure now that he would regain full use of his fingers, but it would be a long way. The PT had told them it might take another three months, if not longer, but that was another worry taken care of. 

Steve, as usual though, didn't know when to leave well enough alone and pushed himself to the point where he had to take a break from PT, which lead to another setback all around. 

Which caused another week of fighting, apologizing, and making up.

And some of these days, Danny felt so tired that he wished he could go to sleep and not wake up for a hundred years.

**************************

Then came the big fight with Rachel.

"No, goddamn it, my daughter will not take surfing lessons. I don't want her near the ocean, and I sure as hell don't want her in the ocean. And no, I am not fucking unreasonable. You know what happened to Steve. You take her to a pool, or a fucking lake, but I won't let her swim in the ocean!"

It ended in a screaming match, with both of them frustrated, and he hoped to god Rachel would agree with him, if not forever than at least for the time being. He didn't want his baby girl anywhere near the water where anything could happen.

He had to see what the shark did to Steve's arm every day. And that was a grown man's, heavily muscled arm. He had nightmares at times where Gracie's small, thin arm was bitten off cleanly.

He didn't tell Steve about it, was thankful that he didn't wake the man up with it, but he feared if the circles under his eyes became any darker, he could enter the Goth scene.

He wished they all would just back off and give him some time.

**************************

A few weeks after Steve had started talking to him, Noah added a 10-step kind of therapy.

As far as Danny understood, it was about getting Steve into the water gradually, always with Noah there to help keep Steve calm.

They started out on a different beach to prevent the added pressure from the scene of the attack, but again, Steve couldn't leave well enough alone and tried to talk Danny into being his focus point at home. 

That man just couldn't learn from experience.

At first, Danny tried to refuse, but Steve was enthusiastic for the first time in weeks after a success with Noah on another beach.

"I was able to go in to my knees, Danno. It wasn't perfect, and I couldn't go in deeper, but there wasn't a panic attack, and Noah thinks I'm doing really well."

Glancing at him from where he was drying the dishes, Danny snorted.

"And I bet he told you to take it easy. Taking it easy does not mean to keep trying where it has happened, babe. Stop pushing yourself," he said dryly.

"Danny, please."

But Danny stayed firm for another week before Steve's continuous nagging wore him down. The man was clearly afraid to try it on his own but impatient to wait, and not willing to ask Chin or Kono, keeping at it till Danny threw up his arms and admitted defeat.

If this was what Steve really wanted, he could swallow his own fear. He was pretty sure Steve hadn't noticed that Danny hadn't been near the ocean since Steve has started working with Noah.

**************************

As Danny could have predicted though, the whole thing was a complete disaster and he could blame no one but himself for it.

Danny couldn't keep Steve calm because he couldn't keep himself totally calm when he was supposed to enter the water with Steve, and so they have fed on each other's anxiety.

Steve was already up to his knees, trembling, gripping Danny's hand as if he wanted to break his fingers, while the water reached Danny's mid thigh. He could stand it for only a few seconds. Then he suddenly imagined he could see dark shapes in the water, his vision tunneled and next thing he knew, he was retching in the water. 

All that throwing up was starting to become a bad habit.

They dragged themselves out of the water, both sick, both trembling and not looking at each other.

Steve didn't ask him again. 

And Danny felt like a bastard, because secretly? Secretly, in a small, dark, ugly place inside himself, he was glad that Steve was obviously not ready yet.


	8. Chapter 8

Standing at the spot from where he had seen the attack happen, Danny pushed his hands into the pockets of his trousers and stared at the horizon. 

By now, six months had passed since the attack, and while Steve's injury had healed and the physical therapy was nearly finished, Steve had not entered the ocean fully yet. 

He kept trying with Noah, but so far, chest deep was all he had managed, and even that was still accompanied by sweat, trembling and scared glances over the surface of the water, looking for a tell-tale shadow. 

Danny was not doing much better, but contrary to Steve, he had no problem with that. He just plain out refused to enter the water.

Danny and Noah, as well as Chin and Kono frequently told Steve to give it more time, but as always patience was not one of his virtues.

That morning, they had chased after a criminal who had nearly escaped by jumping from the pier onto a moving boat. 

Steve had gotten there first, had gained speed, clearly ready to leap after the guy, but he had suddenly slowed down and stopped without taking the jump, leaving it to Chin, who had effortlessly breached the distance and apprehended the criminal. 

No one had said anything but Steve had been brooding for the rest of the day, clearly upset with himself and snappy with the rest of the team.

Now, staring out over the ocean that was giving them so much grief, Danny didn't know what to tell him anymore; all the words had already been said, and they had all fallen on deaf ears, swallowed up by Steve's desire to be as he had been before the attack.

Movement to his right brought him out of his musings and he glanced at Steve, who came to a stop beside him.

"I'm sorry about today."

Turning to look at his partner, Danny cocked an eyebrow and couldn't help getting snappy himself for once.

"Whatever for, babe? For being a regular ray of sunshine? For bitching at me whenever possible? I'm having a déjà vu here."

"Danny, I…"

Shaking his head, the blond man sat down in the sand.

"I don't know what to tell you anymore, Steven. I tell you to be patient, but it's as if I'm talking to a wall. You are so eager to get back into that goddamned ocean that you are blind to everything else. 

It's been only six months, babe. Most of that time, you wouldn't have been able to swim anyway because of your injuries. Why are you so eager to get back in? Give yourself some goddamn time to heal."

Steve's answer was what he had heard on and off over the last few months, in one form or another.

"I'm a Navy SEAL, Danno. What good am I if I can't go into the ocean without breaking a sweat because I'm too scared to focus on anything besides looking for fucking shadows and dorsal fins!"

The last was shouted and while Danny normally would have risen to the bait, would have given as good as he got, he was just too tired today. Hell, these days tired was all he was. 

He still couldn't sleep without nightmares. At times he felt like going crazy and all his energy went to a man who was so single-minded in his pursuit of healing that he couldn't see anything else. 

There was no more fight left in Danny. 

"You are on reserve babe. First and foremost, you are the leader of 5-0. You are my partner. Why can't you give yourself more time? Why can't you give me more time?!"

And then his throat closed up and with horror Danny noticed that his fucking eyes were getting wet and a goddamn sob was threatening to escape. In an attempt to hide, he buried his face in the crook of his elbows, hugging his head protectively and tugging at his hair to ignore the stinging in his eyes.

But suddenly Danny was surrounded by a strong body and unceremoniously pulled into the taller man's lap. Normally, he would have bristled and ranted, even if he secretly loved it, but now he was too busy keeping his wet face hidden from inquisitive eyes.

"Sweetheart?"

Damn, manipulative man that he was, Steve knew what buttons to press, even if he hadn't done so for six months now. They rarely used endearments, Danny's 'babe' for Steve aside. And Steve knew what it did to Danny. Knew that it robbed him of all his prickly defenses.

Choking on his sobs, Danny turned as well as he could and buried his face in the crook of Steve's neck. Instantly, strong arms wrapped around him and Steve wrapped arms and legs around Danny's body, as if that was enough to protect him from all harm. 

And then it was as if all the stress and the fear of the last six months, when he had tried so desperately to be strong for Steve, to keep things together, were pushing out. He bawled like a baby, loud sobs and spit and snot.

"I was so scared that day, Steve. I could see you and suddenly I couldn't and that were the worst seconds of my live. For a moment I was too scared to go after you, I was scared to whole time I was in the water. Scared for you, scared of the blood and scared that the damn animal would come back."

Squeezing the arms that surrounded him, he whispered hoarsely, "I'm not ready to let you go back into the water, Steven. I'm not ready yet to watch you swim."

"Oh, Danno."

Kisses were pressed into his hair, and Steve slowly rocked him to the sounds of the waves, letting the lull calm Danny down. It was a long time before the trembling of the blonds body subsided.

**************************

That night, when they were lying in bed, surrounded by the dark and each other, pressing slow kisses onto each other's lips, Danny whispered sleepily, "You will be back in the water before you know it, Steve. 

Because you love the ocean. Because you are brave and strong and stubborn. And I promise I will watch when you go in, like I did before. But till that day comes, be patient with the both of us and let us heal. Please."

He could feel himself nod off, but not before he felt gentle fingers stroking his cheek, and a soft voice murmur, "Go to sleep Danny. I'm sorry I didn't see it before, but it's going to be alright now. I'm going to give you all the time you need. I'm going to take care of you now."


	9. Chapter 9

  
Epilogue  


After Danny's breakdown on the beach, Steve had dragged him along to his next appointment with Noah, ignoring the man's word about letting Steve heal first, and afterwards Danny had to admit that it had been stupid of him to wait for so long to start therapy.

And so he started to meet with the Doctor on his own, talking twice a week about the things he was feeling and afraid of. In addition, he had a feeling that Steve had had a talk with Rachel, because talks about surfing lessons had stopped for the time being.

It had helped to talk but it still had been a few more weeks before Danny had felt ready to let his partner walk into the deep blue. Truth be told, Steve had been ready before he was, but had refused to do it without Danny, had held on to his promise to be patient and Danny had never loved him more than the moment Steve had told him so.

Steve had given him time and had been understanding and that it turn had helped him to be patient with himself and now they were here, both in their trunks and standing at the edge of the water.

Danny was trembling a bit and he had a death grip on Steve's hand but Steve just softly squeezed back and checked once more that the knives he had strapped to his upper leg and arm were secure. 

They wouldn't do much, not really, but if the worst of the worst ever happened again, at least Steve would be able to defend himself, which made both of them feel better. It was that symbolism really, that helped Danny keep calm. 

Well, that and the binoculars which hung around his neck and would help him keep his eyes on Steve all the while the man was in the water.

It was a bit compulsive, but Steve had assured him it was all right with him and had handed him a pair that was SEAL quality, and would help him see clearly even when far away. He had also promised to stay in range.

It was a compromise really, because Danny's first idea had been to accompany Steve in a boat equipped with a harpoon.

Noah had told them both it would get better given more time.

Now, leaning down, Steve pressed a quick kiss to Danny lips.

"It will be fine, Daniel. I promise."

Tugging slightly on Danny's hand, he led the blond into the waist deep water where they embraced, and gave him another kiss.

"I'll be back before you know it, sweetheart."

And then, with his big dorky, little boy grin, he let go of Danny and dove into the water with hardly a splash.

And Danny, although fear still had a tight hold of his heart, couldn't take his eyes of him.

Because he was beautiful. Because, while careful where he hadn't been before, he was fearless once more. And Steve… Steve was supposed to be fearless.

~The End~


End file.
